A Lover’s Tiff…? Nope… Violent wife abuser? Yip!

Please watch this video, and then read on…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hsX2MAW-gQ

Isn’t this sweet, simply a “lovers tiff”, according to Nigella Lawson’s husband, Charles Saatchi, he was emphasizing a point to her and the photos misrepresent that… so do the tears in her eyes, the fear and terror on her face…. and what I am sure are big giant bruises left behind… Yip, just a misrepresented lovers tiff… I am so glad he cleared that up….

If this is what he does out in broad daylight, in public, on the patio of a restaurant, what does he do to her in the privacy of their home, and what does he do to their kids?

Violence is not based on a certain social structure, or economic class, or on education, or lack there of, it’s based on people who are sick, who thrive off of dominating the weaker sex, who feel it’s their right to do what they want to their ‘possessions’, it’s a power thing, it’s a thing full of hate and anger, it’s got to stop…. It is NOT the victims fault, it’s not as simple as ‘well, why she doesn’t pack the kids up and leave’ and anyone who says so needs to stand in these women and children’s shoes, just for one day… To see the scars, physical and emotional…. to see the years of emotional abuse, that have broken them to the point where they feel there is no place to turn… no one who can help, and that it is their fault….

It’s our fault, who ever had the damn camera should have put it down, gone over there and put a stop to the obvious abuse…. Someone should have stopped it…. plain and simple, no ifs ands or buts… you see someone being hurt, you stop it, you call the cops if you are at risk, but you make damn sure you don’t leave that situation until the person is safe….At the very least the person with the camera should have stood in front of him, so Charles (Mr. Lovers Tiff) could at least see his actions were recorded and he would stop… Somehow, some way, it is our absolute duty to protect those who cannot protect themselves…  And whether the victim is a famous, rich, white female, or an impoverished person of colour; whether they are sitting outside a fancy, expensive restaurant or if they are in the park in the poorer section of town… if they are being hurt we step in…. we help… end of story.

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Boys are Dumb… Let’s Throw Rocks at Them!!!

Boys are Dumb… Let’s Throw Rocks at Them!!! 

A friend of mine had the saying above on a T-shirt with an angry little cartoon-ish girl getting ready to toss a rock… this saying has stuck with me for years and years… On the surface it’s a cute shirt, but looking deeper, it’s 50% a true statement! Boys ARE dumb… I wouldn’t go as far as throwing rocks at them, but a good shake now and then wouldn’t hurt…

It’s taken me 40 years, several relationships and one marriage to come to the conclusion that boys are dumb! It’s not their fault, it’s their wiring… It’s not like they don’t want to be smart, their brains just don’t work the same as ours do…

Boys see things as black and white, I recently got an email from an old friend who said “I walk through life a lot with “man eyes”, where football or sports are the only things that make absolute sense”… This was in response to us going over the past and it was my point of view versus his… Basically I was saying sooooo much with very few words and he was just hearing the words and not seeing the meaning I was hiding inside those few words.

“Silence is a girl’s loudest cry.”  Unknown

This is advice about ALL men, not just boyfriends or husbands, but colleagues, bosses, employees, friends, brothers and fathers too…

My brother is the single most evolved male on this planet, to the point he spells woman with a Y, womyn…! But he’s still thick as a brick sometimes.

This got me thinking, boys are dumb! And it’s up to us, women, to help them on their journey. We need to stop expecting, to stop assuming, to stop playing games, to stop insinuating and start being clear. If he asks you, “what’s wrong?”  our usual reply would be a flat “Nothing, I’m fine” and expect him to read into that, to think, ‘nope, something’s wrong, I better look back on the past few days and come up with the reason’… because he’s just going to hear “Nothing, I’m fine” and is going to walk away, relieved, and carry on with his day. When we are asked “What’s wrong?” we NEED to be specific, to tell him what is bothering us in the clearest most simple terms possible. If he knows something is wrong he will move heaven and earth to make it better…

“When a girl says ‘don’t worry about it’, you’d better worry about it.”  Unknown

Some of the best advice I ever received was from one of my uncles, Nosher Uncle, or Nasia, in India, granted he was telling me this because I, as a Canadian girl with English as my first language, spoke way too fast for him, and he wanted me to slow down… but it really does apply here… and it comes from… yep, you guessed it… A BOY! He said “Speak S-L-O-W-L-Y, Clearly and Distinctly” and the ‘distinctly’ was always pronounced ever so, ummm… distincTly!

It’s not that these boys don’t WANT to help, to understand, to ‘get it’, their brains just don’t function like ours do… He did ask you what’s wrong because he genuinely does care, he felt something was up and took the time to ask… if you leave it open and unclear, or expect him to read your mind when your words are quoting a separate book, well then mi’lady, it’s your fault and not his!

Hmmmm… Now that I’ve read this through I’ve come to the realization that honestly… IT’S US GIRLS THAT ARE REALLY DUMB!!!!!

Boys, I promise to try harder from now on…