Warrior Women

As I walk through this world, a seemingly, beaten and worn down woman… A woman who has suffered at the hands of cowardly men who abused her for their own sick sense of power and then turn around and blame her for their actions; men who took from her what should have been hers to give; men who left scars so deep that they will never truly heal… physical scars she sees each and every day that force her to revisit the emotional and spiritual scars from so many years ago…

I oft times wonder “how am I still standing? How do I go on each day with a smile on my face and some semblance of peace in my heart?” These are just a few of the questions that are thrown at me whenever I tell my story…

My only answer is, I do it because of the women who came before me, the brave warriors who fought so courageously, who laid a path for me to fight and conquer my demons, so that I can, somehow, put one foot in front of the other and blaze my own trail of freedom, of strength, of power, of femininity, of kindness, of compassion, of love…

These cowardly men may have taken from me what was only mine to give, but they have not won, for each day I wake up with new sense of determination and focus, to not allow them to break me down… to not allow them to destroy me… but to fill myself up with pride, confidence, beauty, and love…

To those women who went before me, I humbly and sincerely thank you… to those women who walk with me, may our heads always be held high, may we hold each other up when we feel like falling down… to those women who will see the trail left by me and my sisters, may it guide you to a place of strength, power, self-respect, dignity, equality, faith, hope, kindness, compassion and love… and may your trail be one much less volatile than those that walked before you…

Peace 

International Women’s Day, #IWD2014

While I appreciate the sentiments of “Happy International Women’s Day” and all the wonderful men thanking the strong and powerful women in their lives… to me, that is not what International Women’s Day is all about, it’s not Mother’s Day, it’s not Valentine’s Day, it’s not Thanksgiving… 

International Women’s Day is not simply a celebration of women worldwide, it’s a day, yes, just one day out of 365, to recognise our struggles, to bring awareness to how much work we have to accomplish to reach our goal of equality… This year’s theme by the United Nations is “Inspiring Change”… Below are just a few of the changes that are needed for women and girls around the world… 

 

  • It’s about providing free and safe education for all females…
    • There are 600 million girls living in the developing world. Two-thirds of the world’s uneducated children are girls, and two-thirds of the world’s illiterate adults are women.**

 Education

  • It’s about providing Equal Rights for Marginalized Women Workers….
    • Many working women continue to face sex discrimination and other unfair treatment on the job, including sexual harassment and assault, wage theft, unequal pay, and other injustices. Women in male-dominated industries and those who are marginalized by race, poverty, immigration status, and/or sexual orientation often confront multiple barriers to equal opportunity and fair treatment at work. ***

 equal rights

  • It’s about a woman’s right to make decisions concerning her own body….
    • Pro-choice, the right for a woman to make her own decisions regarding abortions
    • Ending arranged, forced, under-aged marriages; The right to marry who we want, if we want

 my-body-my-choice

  • It’s about ending violence against women…
    • According to a study done by the World Health Organisation, 35% of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual violence. However, some national studies show that up to 70 per cent of women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence in their lifetime from an intimate partner*

 ending violence

  • It’s about all females living shame free…
    • Stop victim blaming
    • End rape culture
    • Stop shaming the victims and protecting the attackers
    • Allowing our girls to grow up feeling good about their body image, respecting themselves and being the strong, powerful, beautiful, funny, creative, talented, successful people they were born to be.

 Things that cause rape

So, this is what International Women’s Day means to me, it’s not only honouring the amazing women in our lives, which we should do every day anyway, but it’s about standing up, both females and males, and taking action, finding solutions. It’s about a world I can show my niece with pride, a world where she and all our sisters are safe, and honoured, and educated and healthy and proud….

 

“So, until all my sisters are free, really, none of us are free…”

 “Equality for women is progress for all” ~ From the United Nations page for IWD

 Here’s hoping to one day not have a need for International Women’s Day…

 international-womens-day--001

 

 * http://www.unwomen.org/

** http://www.educatinggirlsmatters.org/

*** http://www.equalrights.org/

 

Boys are Dumb… Let’s Throw Rocks at Them!!!

Boys are Dumb… Let’s Throw Rocks at Them!!! 

A friend of mine had the saying above on a T-shirt with an angry little cartoon-ish girl getting ready to toss a rock… this saying has stuck with me for years and years… On the surface it’s a cute shirt, but looking deeper, it’s 50% a true statement! Boys ARE dumb… I wouldn’t go as far as throwing rocks at them, but a good shake now and then wouldn’t hurt…

It’s taken me 40 years, several relationships and one marriage to come to the conclusion that boys are dumb! It’s not their fault, it’s their wiring… It’s not like they don’t want to be smart, their brains just don’t work the same as ours do…

Boys see things as black and white, I recently got an email from an old friend who said “I walk through life a lot with “man eyes”, where football or sports are the only things that make absolute sense”… This was in response to us going over the past and it was my point of view versus his… Basically I was saying sooooo much with very few words and he was just hearing the words and not seeing the meaning I was hiding inside those few words.

“Silence is a girl’s loudest cry.”  Unknown

This is advice about ALL men, not just boyfriends or husbands, but colleagues, bosses, employees, friends, brothers and fathers too…

My brother is the single most evolved male on this planet, to the point he spells woman with a Y, womyn…! But he’s still thick as a brick sometimes.

This got me thinking, boys are dumb! And it’s up to us, women, to help them on their journey. We need to stop expecting, to stop assuming, to stop playing games, to stop insinuating and start being clear. If he asks you, “what’s wrong?”  our usual reply would be a flat “Nothing, I’m fine” and expect him to read into that, to think, ‘nope, something’s wrong, I better look back on the past few days and come up with the reason’… because he’s just going to hear “Nothing, I’m fine” and is going to walk away, relieved, and carry on with his day. When we are asked “What’s wrong?” we NEED to be specific, to tell him what is bothering us in the clearest most simple terms possible. If he knows something is wrong he will move heaven and earth to make it better…

“When a girl says ‘don’t worry about it’, you’d better worry about it.”  Unknown

Some of the best advice I ever received was from one of my uncles, Nosher Uncle, or Nasia, in India, granted he was telling me this because I, as a Canadian girl with English as my first language, spoke way too fast for him, and he wanted me to slow down… but it really does apply here… and it comes from… yep, you guessed it… A BOY! He said “Speak S-L-O-W-L-Y, Clearly and Distinctly” and the ‘distinctly’ was always pronounced ever so, ummm… distincTly!

It’s not that these boys don’t WANT to help, to understand, to ‘get it’, their brains just don’t function like ours do… He did ask you what’s wrong because he genuinely does care, he felt something was up and took the time to ask… if you leave it open and unclear, or expect him to read your mind when your words are quoting a separate book, well then mi’lady, it’s your fault and not his!

Hmmmm… Now that I’ve read this through I’ve come to the realization that honestly… IT’S US GIRLS THAT ARE REALLY DUMB!!!!!

Boys, I promise to try harder from now on…