Love is always the answer…

At times… life can be a bitch, a total, heartbreaking, slap in the face, unjust bitch… it can take everything in which you believe and shatter it into a million pieces within a fraction of a second… Life can take all you hold dear and precious, your faith and your humanity and it can obliterate it… Life can be the ultimate force of total, all encompassing douche-baggery…

But… that’s got to be a temporary situation, it must be… we can’t allow it to take over our lives, take over our hearts and change us for the worse… we can’t allow it to extinguish the light from our hearts… we can’t allow it to eliminate our faith…

We must be stronger, more powerful and better than what life sometimes offers us. We must stand up to life and not let our SELF be changed…

We must remember the real life, the one that offers us miracles, hope and bliss… We must remember to focus on Kindness, Compassion and Love, and release the hate and the anger… I know that is asking for a lot when we are faced with such atrocities such as Sandy Hook, Danzig, and most recently, the not guilty verdict for George Zimmerman in the case of the death of young Trayvon Martin… How can we let this go… ? We need to take this anger, this resentment, this hatred and transform it into something positive… We must pray for all the Trayvon’s of this world, and do whatever we can to change the system, the laws, the thinking, the privilege that is so segregated…  We must spread love in this world with such a force that the hate will just die out… Love… Love is the answer, love is ALWAYS the answer… for each of us  the path is different, but the destination is the same… we all must arrive in love…

“The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy, instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.

Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.

Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate.

Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.


Some of my Best Friends are Gay!

Subtitled “I’m on the Pro-Gay Bandwagon… are you?”

I’m going to begin this with a bit of poignant humour, this is a clip of Nathan Lane on the Ellen show, it’s his response to a group of closed minded homophobes who tried to have Ellen DeGeneres removed as the spokesperson for JCPenny, and how JCPenny not only stood by their choice, and didn’t give in to petty threats, but Ellen’s response of humour, grace, class and confidence, as she says “My haters are my motivators”

I work in an industry that has such a diverse group of people, all races, ages, religions, sexual orientations, etc. and we all just… get along! It’s like in the park, when you see someone feeding the birds, pigeons, chickadees, crows… they all hang out together and eat in peace… sure every once in awhile a big bully of a seagull swoops down trying with all his might to take all the food, but the tightly knit group bands together, defends themselves, and actually invites the seagull to join them, sharing their feast… sometimes the seagull does in fact settle down and joins in, and sometimes he flies off to find another weaker group to take over… In one shift, during the course of an 8 hour event, I have witnessed this… the group, defending their territory, with love, compassion, humour and kindness, have won over the bully, and by the end of those 8 hours, we were all nibbling on stale rolls together… It warmed my heart to be a part of that progress, I felt proud to be in the company of such fine birds!

So, like the title says, “Some of my best friends are Gay”, and they are! And so what? Why does it matter? How does the fact my saying they are gay change the fact that they are some of my closet friends. Being gay doesn’t take away from the person they are, it doesn’t make them less of a person, it doesn’t make them non-human… Every time I sign a petition, read an article, or hear a story about a gay couple not being allowed to marry, or offered basic human rights such as being allowed to roam the streets freely are stripped from the gay community, or people being imprisoned or beaten and even put to death for being gay, a little piece of me dies inside.

“An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

If I were, at random, to choose 5 straight friends and 5 gay friends and simply wrote one page each about them, about their life, about their choices, about their dreams, about their values and handed you those 10 sheets of paper you wouldn’t be able to tell me that these 5 are the gay 5 and these 5 are the straight 5. They are just 10 stellar human beings, doing good things in this world, seeking the same things we all seek, love, friendship, acceptance, joy, beauty, etc.

How can a nation, as ‘forward thinking’ as the United States of America think their government has the right to deny their own citizens the right to marry one another? Their own Pledge of Allegiance states: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

“Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

How can we sit by while innocent people are being imprisoned for simply uttering the word “Gay”? While our brothers and sisters are being sent to re-education sessions to ‘fix’ them? While they are being put to death for the simple act of being true to who they are? Silence and inaction isn’t the answer…

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies,

but the silence of our friends.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I know this post is long, it’s all over the place, has no real form to it, and probably not my most eloquent piece and for this I sincerely apologise… However, I believe that is because I am at a loss for what is happening in this world. I’ve tried numerous times to write this, put my inner most feelings out there for the world to read… I’ve rewritten it dozens of times and finally decided to just vent, and pray my message is heard.

I tried to write this post from a place of compassion, a desire for change, and I pray my rage doesn’t come through. To, one last time, quote the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (snippets from his brilliant and beautiful speech ‘I have a dream’ while based on the equality of the race all mankind, I truly believe his intention was for worldwide equality of all mankind in its entirety, race, religion, sexual orientation, body type, etc) :

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed:

‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’”

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

Peace & Love

Hatred… when will it end?

Yesterday I posted the following status “I am so tired and quite sick literally and figuratively, of close minded, hate filled, racist, homophobes, who claim to be good Canadians… When will love prevail?

It was based on a conversation I had with someone on Facebook, not one of my friends, but a Facebook friend on someone elses page, I do not know if they are close or not.

After some serious consideration I decided I needed to post this for all to see, in the hope that people will fight for what’s right, will stand up to hatred, and seek out peace and love. My honest feeling is I do regret, in my last statement, point b), my anger got the best of me and I sunk to his level, but I am posting it anyway as I have nothing to hide.

I have removed his name and replaced it with DUDE, the best replacement I could think of while still being respectful.

DUDE:  (FYI this is the comment that started it all)

Its the Canadian human right bs.. They have a muslim lady with that shit on her head as a cop.. Now thats taking human rights a little too far..

Lalita O’Patel

Wow, normally I wouldn’t respond to someone I do not know, but DUDE that was VERY offensive.

We do not live in a country of all white Christians, the BEAUTY of Canada is our multicultural blending of all races, religions, creeds, sexual orientations etc.

We accept and don’t judge… We open our arms to anyone who wants to live in a country of acceptance.

These are the reasons I am PROUD to be a Canadian! I love all my brothers and sisters for who they are, and relish in their innate FREEDOM to express their individual choices without being condemned or have fear of living a FREE life. Live and let live… Lest ye judge, I believe that is in the Bible…


I do agree with u Lalita.. Im a Christian Lebanese and i do believe in the bible.. Im proud to be a Canadian also.. I do respect evrything Canada has.. I dont agree with defferent religions coming here and try to change to abuse the Canadian rights.. In France last year 2 muslim women where not alowed to wear that shit on there head cause of the school rules and they could not do anything about.. In Canada it would be defferent.. I dont care what religon u are u should not break rules.. Thats my point.. They r changing xmas cause of other religons.. I dont agree with that..

Lalita O’Patel

Sorry but I disagree with you… The ‘shit’ to which you refer is called a burka, and whether you agree with it or not, it is Muslim law… Orthodox Jewish women have to always wear a scarf or wig so that no one but their husband can see their hair, is that ‘shit’ too? Catholics denounce homosexuality and birth control, ‘shit’? And true Canadian laws should be Native/aboriginal laws, as the Europeans came and stole their land and claimed is as theirs. How does wearing a Burka, or ‘shit’ to you, abuse Canadian laws?


U can wear ur hijab anywhere u want but when evry cop in canada has to wear there cop uniform u have to do the same.. thats my point.. The Canadian rights doesnt see it that way.. They let her where that shit on her head and be cop at the same time.. She does not respect the Canadian laws to wear the uniform.. Now how unfair is that for every Canadian?

Lalita O’Patel

Still calling it ‘shit’ eh? 😦

Its very VERY fair for EVERY Canadian, it means we EMBRACE our people, our differences, we adapt, we accommodate, we CARE!

If we push everyone to be the same, to assimilate, then we may as well be the Borg from Star Trek, ‘you will comply, resistance is futile’. Robots wandering around, all looking the same, acting the same, losing what makes Canada so special, our ABSOLUTE RIGHT to individuality, religious freedom. How on earth does wearing a burka, yes it is called a burka, affect their ability to perform as well as any other officer on the force, positivley or negatively?

My humble interpretation of your comments is everyone MUST do it your way (or your version of Canada’s way) or get the hell outta Dodge, or in this case, Canada…

Do you also agree with the US’s ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy for the military? It would stand to reason, based on all your comments, that you do…


Ron i agree with u :)) Lalita, i realy dont care about the states.. they wanna be gay thats there problems not mine.. i have problems with muslims coming to this country and trying to change it.. Its realy getting too much.. They wanna practice there stupid religan they can.. dont tell me how to practice mine.. do u know my brother works in the arab countries and he has to hide to eat his lunch cause of stupid ramadan.. do u know that when u go there u have to wear that SHIT before u enter there country.. but when they come here they wanna change everything to suit them.. just because canada is great and gives them some rights. they abuse it.. i came from there and i know those people more then u will ever know.. u think u know then but u know shit about them.. Get ur facts in order before u open ur month and make an ass of urself.. im done with u cause u know nothing.. Tracey, sorry about all this.. im done and i didnt start it..

Lalita O’Patel

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

Again a quote from the Bible…

a) I AM IRANIAN, so don’t go saying I don’t know what I am talking about! Born and raised in Canada, but of Iranian descent…

b) I am so over this conversation with you, insane, rude, arrogant, closed minded racist, homophobe… I fear for those around you, with that much anger and ignorance…

Tracey you know me, I am not sorry at all for standing up against hatred…. I won’t ever apologize when I am trying to protect others against evil hate filled people…