Thoughts vs. Action…

In order to get my point across I felt the need to be as open as I can about the feelings I have surrounding a situation of the past… this is the only reason I am being as open as I am… I am not looking for pity, or sympathy, just that you understand me fully… Having said that, this is my story…

Today I was driving in my old hood, Don Mills and Steeles and I REALLY had to ahem… use the facilities so I drove into the Mall, Shops on Steeles, completed my business there and went to my car. As I was pulling out of my parking spot I saw my ex-boyfriend… the one who used to enjoy hitting me, burning me and emotionally terrorizing me… After I left him he would call me all the time, sit in his car outside my home and wait to follow me… he would show up at my work place… it took years before he would leave me alone…  

I haven’t seen him in quite a few years, the last time I ran into him at a variety store, the look in his eyes brought me back to that terrified little 24 year old girl, but that little girl was smarter… I went up to two BIG guys in the parking lot and told them the situation and one walked me to my car, waited till I locked the doors and pulled out… The other went up to my ex and stood in his face and every time the ex moved he would follow… Thank God for Giant, Gentle Angels… 

Anyway… back to my story… I was backing out of my spot and saw him walking up towards the mall and I panicked, simultaneously my heart stopped and almost beat itself out of my chest… My first thought, honestly was “If I hit him with my car and killed him I could finally find peace, a little bit of me is always looking over my shoulder and I wouldn’t have the fear of running into him ever again”.

My friends, in the moment, ever so briefly, this was a real and true possibility for me.

Then reality set in, and I realised that even though I have so much fear and a wee bit of residual anger towards him, I am not that person. He didn’t notice me, I wasn’t about to announce my presence to him, so I just let him pass, gave him the finger under the dash and drove away, shaking, crying, but kinda proud I didn’t kill him.

Then I started thinking about Thoughts vs. Actions… We all hear about the “power of positive thinking”, the Laws of Attraction” and so on. So does my having a thought like that affect my Karma? And believe me, that’s not the only dark thought I have ever had… I have them all the time… While I don’t act on them, they mull around my brain like a Japanese Fighting Fish swimming in circles in its tiny bowl, isolated, but if given company… WATCH OUT!

I tend to think I am a good person, I try to show compassion, be kind, and love in the face of hatred… I stress the ‘try’ as I am constantly f’ing it up… but I don’t stop trying.

The Zoroastrian religion, in which I was raised, has a simple, yet very difficult premise, “Good thoughts, Good words and Good deeds” The last two are soooooo much easier than the first… Why is this? And again I ask, do my negative, angry, dark thoughts affect my Karma???

 God I hope not, but just in case, I am going to keep on trucking in the pursuit of those elusive good thoughts….

 Wish me luck!

Advertisements

Hatred… when will it end?

Yesterday I posted the following status “I am so tired and quite sick literally and figuratively, of close minded, hate filled, racist, homophobes, who claim to be good Canadians… When will love prevail?

It was based on a conversation I had with someone on Facebook, not one of my friends, but a Facebook friend on someone elses page, I do not know if they are close or not.

After some serious consideration I decided I needed to post this for all to see, in the hope that people will fight for what’s right, will stand up to hatred, and seek out peace and love. My honest feeling is I do regret, in my last statement, point b), my anger got the best of me and I sunk to his level, but I am posting it anyway as I have nothing to hide.

I have removed his name and replaced it with DUDE, the best replacement I could think of while still being respectful.

DUDE:  (FYI this is the comment that started it all)

Its the Canadian human right bs.. They have a muslim lady with that shit on her head as a cop.. Now thats taking human rights a little too far..

Lalita O’Patel

Wow, normally I wouldn’t respond to someone I do not know, but DUDE that was VERY offensive.

We do not live in a country of all white Christians, the BEAUTY of Canada is our multicultural blending of all races, religions, creeds, sexual orientations etc.

We accept and don’t judge… We open our arms to anyone who wants to live in a country of acceptance.

These are the reasons I am PROUD to be a Canadian! I love all my brothers and sisters for who they are, and relish in their innate FREEDOM to express their individual choices without being condemned or have fear of living a FREE life. Live and let live… Lest ye judge, I believe that is in the Bible…

DUDE

I do agree with u Lalita.. Im a Christian Lebanese and i do believe in the bible.. Im proud to be a Canadian also.. I do respect evrything Canada has.. I dont agree with defferent religions coming here and try to change to abuse the Canadian rights.. In France last year 2 muslim women where not alowed to wear that shit on there head cause of the school rules and they could not do anything about.. In Canada it would be defferent.. I dont care what religon u are u should not break rules.. Thats my point.. They r changing xmas cause of other religons.. I dont agree with that..

Lalita O’Patel

Sorry but I disagree with you… The ‘shit’ to which you refer is called a burka, and whether you agree with it or not, it is Muslim law… Orthodox Jewish women have to always wear a scarf or wig so that no one but their husband can see their hair, is that ‘shit’ too? Catholics denounce homosexuality and birth control, ‘shit’? And true Canadian laws should be Native/aboriginal laws, as the Europeans came and stole their land and claimed is as theirs. How does wearing a Burka, or ‘shit’ to you, abuse Canadian laws?

DUDE

U can wear ur hijab anywhere u want but when evry cop in canada has to wear there cop uniform u have to do the same.. thats my point.. The Canadian rights doesnt see it that way.. They let her where that shit on her head and be cop at the same time.. She does not respect the Canadian laws to wear the uniform.. Now how unfair is that for every Canadian?

Lalita O’Patel

Still calling it ‘shit’ eh? 😦

Its very VERY fair for EVERY Canadian, it means we EMBRACE our people, our differences, we adapt, we accommodate, we CARE!

If we push everyone to be the same, to assimilate, then we may as well be the Borg from Star Trek, ‘you will comply, resistance is futile’. Robots wandering around, all looking the same, acting the same, losing what makes Canada so special, our ABSOLUTE RIGHT to individuality, religious freedom. How on earth does wearing a burka, yes it is called a burka, affect their ability to perform as well as any other officer on the force, positivley or negatively?

My humble interpretation of your comments is everyone MUST do it your way (or your version of Canada’s way) or get the hell outta Dodge, or in this case, Canada…

Do you also agree with the US’s ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy for the military? It would stand to reason, based on all your comments, that you do…

DUDE

Ron i agree with u :)) Lalita, i realy dont care about the states.. they wanna be gay thats there problems not mine.. i have problems with muslims coming to this country and trying to change it.. Its realy getting too much.. They wanna practice there stupid religan they can.. dont tell me how to practice mine.. do u know my brother works in the arab countries and he has to hide to eat his lunch cause of stupid ramadan.. do u know that when u go there u have to wear that SHIT before u enter there country.. but when they come here they wanna change everything to suit them.. just because canada is great and gives them some rights. they abuse it.. i came from there and i know those people more then u will ever know.. u think u know then but u know shit about them.. Get ur facts in order before u open ur month and make an ass of urself.. im done with u cause u know nothing.. Tracey, sorry about all this.. im done and i didnt start it..

Lalita O’Patel

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

Again a quote from the Bible…

a) I AM IRANIAN, so don’t go saying I don’t know what I am talking about! Born and raised in Canada, but of Iranian descent…

b) I am so over this conversation with you, insane, rude, arrogant, closed minded racist, homophobe… I fear for those around you, with that much anger and ignorance…

Tracey you know me, I am not sorry at all for standing up against hatred…. I won’t ever apologize when I am trying to protect others against evil hate filled people…

_____________________________________________________________________________________ 

 

L♥VE WARRIORS!

Recently one of my very best friends in the world did something she vowed 14 years ago (and kept vowing for 14 years) she would never do… She got a tattoo! Now, to those of you who don’t know Tracey, a.k.a. my Bestest, this may not seem like such a big deal, but to those of you who do know her you know she mustered up every bit of bravery, every ounce of courage and every drop of strength she could to overcome such a huge fear, to stand in the face of her proverbial enemy and with dogged determination say “DAMMIT INK ME!”

‘Now’, you ask, ‘why did she do it? What’s the point of her facing that fear, which in all essence could have been easily avoided with no consequences?’ She did it for L♥VE, the purest of all L♥VES, a Mother’s L♥VE… She got her daughter’s name tattooed on her leg to immortalize the loving, kind and fun relationship she has with her beautiful daughter Kayleigh.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” John Lennon

This got me thinking, if my bestest can face one of her biggest fears in the name of L♥VE, is there nothing we, as a world-community, can’t achieve with L♥VE?

It takes just one person to make a difference, to stand up for what’s right, to give a voice to the voiceless and give hope to those in need. It’s up to us, the L♥VE WARRIORS to make the right choices, to be scared to death and act anyway, all in the name of L♥VE!

“In the absence of love, we began slowly but surely to fall apart.” Marianne Williamson

I’ve done some really stupid things in the name of L♥VE and I don’t regret a single one. Sure, I’ve been hurt, physically, emotionally; my body has been injured and my heart has been broken, but in the end I know I did the right thing and wouldn’t change it for anything.

There are so many appalling things happening in the world today that I find myself weeping tears of utter saddness, horror, empathy, compassion and yes, fear. But I can no longer stand by and watch it happen. I am going to scream my thoughts, my views, my feelings and emotions from the roof tops, I am going to fight to right things that are wrong, and make a difference!

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

It’s time for a call to arms my fellow L♥VE WARRIORS… it’s time to change the world, and we, as a small group, can do it!

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” Frank Herbert

 

Aside