“I’m not the greatest; I’m the double greatest. Not only do I knock ’em out, I pick the round.”

While the quote by Muhammad Ali in the title, has little to do with this post, it is one of my favourites and I just wanted to use it 🙂

It’s been a few weeks since my last posting, truth be told, I was in a pretty dark place… feeling bitter, entertaining a lot of anger, saddness, and fear; a sense of being lost, feeling like I was on the outside looking in, longing to find my place, to belong, for peace… So every time I sat down to write a blog it was full of anger, negativity, and resentment… This was not what I wanted to express to the world, I just kept reminding myself “Lalita, this isn’t you! Everyone has their dark times, hold on, the light is just around the next corner” so, while I waited for the light, I thought it best to keep my big trap shut until I climbed out of the deep, dark hole I had dug for myself.

This week, especially yesterday and today, I was reminded of the beauty that exists in my life. I realized, that while turmoil boils within me, and all around me, I need to look  deeper inside of me, and further than an arms length outside of me… and I’d find the peace I so desperately sought…

“Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm” Unknown

Today I was shown, by the purest of examples, that we are never too old to change, to better ourselves, to be true to ourselves, to learn what our destiny is and then ACTUALLY act on it… Today I witnessed bravery, compassion, kindness and love… Today the breath of life was whispered back into two hearts, and a friendship was reborn… Today was a beautiful day…

“Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death.”
Omar Bradley

About a year ago I made a very difficult decsion to walk away from someone I loved with all my heart, as I knew my presence in their life was doing more harm than good… while all I really wanted to do was grab them in my arms and hug them until they realized how much I truly loved them… I somehow found the courage to let them go and just held faith in my heart one day they would return, better than ever, forgiving me, and themself… Today that person came back to me, to themself, and I was honoured to be a part of their return, to rejoice in their new found love of life, to celebrate the path they are on, and to tell them how much I truly love them….

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” Hermann Hesse

Once all the seriousness was out of the way, we caught up, and laughed… laughed like we used to laugh, and it felt right, it felt good, I felt like I belonged there, in that moment, telling this friend stories…

(Totally off topic, the one that made us laugh the most was, back in 1996 when I started at an Internet company, spell check was still in it’s infancy, and one day I wrote an email to an old boss, I started with “Dear Mr. Erickson,” and ended with “Sincerely, Lalita” However the email, thanks to Microsoft and my lack of checking on spell check, went out as “Dear Mr. Erection” and “Sincerely, Labia”! Needless to say his reply was one of hilarity and confusion!)

Ok back to my point… What was my point…? Well, basically, regardless of the darkness I felt, the ‘aloneness’, anger, fear, resentment, this friend reminded me of three things,

1.Holding on to resentment will only hurt YOU…

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
Carrie Fisher

2. that only because of the darkness do we understand light…. To always have faith… that even in your darkest hour, you will come out of it… if you have faith…

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly”  Patrick Overton

3. Thoughts are things, to keep my attitude positive, my words pro-active and my heart open (pray for him LOL, that’s just for my friend). To always remember to ask for sunshine instead of no rain…

“’Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?’ ‘Supposing it didn’t,’ said Pooh. After careful thought Piglet was comforted by this.” A. A. Milne

Peace & Love!

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Irina
    Mar 28, 2011 @ 12:26:52

    “anger, negativity, and resentment…” I never knew that you, my wonderful friend, could possibly have these kind of feelings. But I suppose all of us do at one point or another…maybe except your mom.

    As you’ve just experienced, the easiest way to snap out of the ego mode is to go out and do something nice for other people. While out there doing something meaningful, kind, and selfless, our heart will be filled with joy and happiness, which will push all the other crap out. It does work. But sadly often it’s like we enjoy dwelling in misery. Thank goodness for loving people in our lives who help us snap out of it.

    P.S. Your spellchecker story was hilarious! Thanks for the good laugh.
    P.P.S. This quote made me pause and think:
    “Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” Hermann Hesse
    Deep! I’ll have to meditate on this.

    Reply

  2. lalitababy
    Mar 28, 2011 @ 12:53:18

    hahaha it happens to all of us, dare I say even my mom!… stupid mind takes over and quiets the heart… I’m chalking it up to hormones LOL!

    Sometimes, for me, I need to hibernate, others I need a good swift kick in the ass to get back on track 🙂

    Love you!

    Reply

  3. Vivek
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 09:16:38

    You’re such a great writer Lalita.
    Sharing with such honesty is very courageous.
    It inspires me and I’m sure it will inspire many others as well.

    You’re also the master of quotes!!

    You are a beautiful soul and you deserve the best of the best.
    Your faith will take you there. Keep shining that light!!

    Reply

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