“Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.” Charlie Chaplin

Over the past 48 hours 2 people asked me almost the exact same question,

“How do you stay so optimistic?”

The first person I just laughed off, and said it’s all the sex, drugs and rock and roll in my life…. But the second came from someone I deeply respect and admire, and I hope she doesn’t mind me mentioning her name, Rauni Whitely… Rauni and I worked together at en Ville, what seems like a million years ago… she was one of the only two people who took the time to help me when I started there… she was patient, sooooooooo knowledgable, and one of the funniest people I have ever encountered…  I really do miss the laughter, it got me through some of the most difficult years of my life…

So, Rauni, in answer to your question… I have no frickin’ clue hahaha!!!! Seriously, I don’t know, because I really don’t feel that I am… but having it pointed out to me is making me think…

When I am down, depressed, sad, angry, mad, hurt, etc… (which is more often that I kinda wanna admit!) I try to just not share it with the world… To me, thoughts have energy and that energy spreads like wildfire… I believe presenting myself as the person I want to be will help me along in becoming that person…. basically, keeping the negative to myself, keeps the negative to a minimum… (at least that’s my theory).

I cry, a lot, I get angry in the car, soooooooo angry, swearing like a trucker (or a chef lol).

“Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”  William Saroyan 
If you read my last blog, you probably have an idea of what 80% of my life was like… it wasn’t until after my marriage ended did I make the decision that I was going to do whatever it took to make the next chapter of my life my own…  to be the one who makes my choices, who can be assertive, protective, compassionate, caring, loving for myself… it’s something I have always done for others, and never for myself… I lost almost 40 years of my life, and intend to make the next 40 all about being happy and trying to spread it wherever I go…

So there I was, all determined and no clue what the heck to do with myself 🙂

I embraced my faith even tighter than before, I allowed myself to feel whatever the hell I wanted to feel, I began to try and look at my life as if I were watching a movie, and I was the star! I saw the mistakes I was making, the hurt I was imposing upon myself, the patters, the habits, the kind of things I would smack any friend of mine upside their head for doing to themself… Then when I recognized all that negativity, I started to see the beauty I had been ignoring … my life is beautiful, sooooooo filled with laughter, joy, beauty, love, family, friends… Good Lord, my cat makes me laugh out loud 5 times a day… I somehow took it all for granted, or never let it ‘really’ into my heart…

So I started challenging myself to find beauty wherever I am, regardless of my mood or situation, I was going to find something to smile at… And then a month later, I had an intense experience and wrote about it “From Road Rage to Road Trip… Lalita was issued a throw down!”

Since then it has become easier to let go of the hurt, the pain, the memories… and I am doing everything I can to rid myself of the toxic situations I seem to keep landing in… (ok putting myself in)… I am doing better, and better with each day that passes, but patterns are hard to break…

Optimism is defined by dictionary.com, as:

1. a disposition or tendency to look on the  more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.

2.the belief that good ultimately predominates over evil in the world.

3.the belief that goodness pervades reality.

4. the doctrine that the existing world is the best of all possible worlds.

Spelled out like that, it sounds pretty easy eh? Hahaha!

“Optimism is the opium of the masses.
Pessimism is the pesticide of society.” – Ken Muslimvoic

My only answer, that  I know to be true is, I try to laugh a lot…

“An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.” Anon

Mostly at myself… 

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.”  Shirley MacLaine 

That’s all I gots on this topic!!! And just in time too, Big Bang Theory is about to start and that’s a big source of the laughter that fills me 🙂



4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Laura Burry
    Mar 11, 2011 @ 07:18:53

    Wow that is just great you are such a wonderful and loving person I am so happy to be called your friend I wish you the best Happiness,Love,Courage,Friendship and much much more:)
    Love ya laura


  2. Trackback: “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Alexander Pope « LalitaBaby
  3. Vivek
    Apr 03, 2011 @ 13:27:19

    I still think about and use your story where you practiced seeing beauty all around you as you drove.
    it helps me a great deal when I wanna jump out of the car and smash some guy in the nose!

    ah the joys of driving in toronto


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